Sadness and eye openers

These last days since the Spirit of Survival run have been emotional for me. I have been following the news about "Katie" and praying hard. Well, today Katie lost her battle with cancer. And a part of me is not only heart broken for her parents and family, but I am so angry. Why does stuff like this happen?? How does stuff like this happen? Why does cancer even exist and who is the evil maker of this disease? I know most of these answers to these questions, but I am still wondering "why"? 

Katie was one of the most strongest and smartest little girls I knew.  She fought this battle with an unselfish heart. She inspired other people with childhood cancer, those without, and even many adults-and showed us ways that we can make a difference in the fight with this disease. Things like donating to the research, being there for others in the fight, and by just being courageous. Katie never once asked "why me". She took it as what it was, and carried on with her self in a way that I can only describe as heroic. Katie is my hero. And I will forever remember her and do my part in having her beautiful memory live on.

The reality of what happened with our friend, has opened my eyes to so much. Things like cherishing the small things that come our way, because one day they will be "big" things. Try to not stress about things (which everyone who knows me-knows this is pretty impossible for me), but I'm going to try my hardest. Sticky floors from spilled liquids, piles of dirty laundry, belongings that don't belong laying all over the house, unflushed toilets, and the list can go on...why stress about these little things that only force me to see how fortunate I am to have a wonderful family? Really, it's not worth the grey hair!! Instead, embrace these things. One day, we may not have them. 

Love life. Embrace it. And make each day as if it could be the last. God has a plan for each of us, and only He knows our timeline here on Earth. 

Rest in peace Katie. May your beautiful smile light up heaven and shine down upon us all. Till we meet again...

Spirit of Survival

Today was the Spirit of Survival run in Lawton. We weren't going to run it but decided last minute (yesterday) to register. I was super excited to try and race again after not being competitive or really "running" since the end of March. I had a goal. I wanted to run this race for one of my son's friends that we met while in Korea. Her name is Katie and she is 13  years old, just like Mason. Katie was diagnosed with Lymphoma (non-Hodgkins) last year. I have been following her battle and story since she was first diagnosed. Something had struck me hard in the chest with this. We knew Katie in Korea. She was vibrant and sassy.  She was a firecracker, a ray of sunshine, and an awesome little girl. Mason had hung out with her sometimes after school at the Hallasan tower park, or Px, or even to the movies with a group of other kids. She was a cheerleader for his basketball team. From what I knew of her, and her family, they were special people. Now, as I have followed Katie's battle with this ugly cancer, I have seen what a fighter and inspiration she is to me, and tons of others who follow her on Instagram and Facebook. 

I felt something compelling me to run this race for her, in Katie's honor. I wore her name on my back, so others behind me in the race, would see my drive to push through any pain in my back or legs, in her honor. To do something so selfless and feel like I accomplished something as small as a 5k for Katie. I felt unstoppable even though I hurt. 

The sad thing was, while I posted my pictures from the finished race onto Facebook, another friend of mine posted that Katie has been admitted to Hospice as of yesterday. My heart broke and I immediately lost it and sobbed. I had no idea that This happened before I ran.  I found out when it was all done. I cried. Cried for Katie, for her family, and for all those who know her. I cried for my son, who is soon going to know that he may lose one of his friends. I cried for me, for being selfish and sometimes taking things for granted. Like when Mason gives me his 13 year old attitude when I ask him to do something, or when Madison asks if she can practice her violin so I can hear her improvements. These small things i find myself getting irritated over when all along I am so truly blessed for these "little things". And even though I do believe in miracles and the power of prayer, I still couldn't help but cry. 

As I sit here and write my blog, I am praying for Katie and her family. I pray for healing and I pray for strength during this trying time. I pray that the Lord comforts them all during this battle. I also pray for all those other runners today who ran in memory of or honor of someone.

 

How about a Venti-vent??

It amazes me how the military medical care is so inadequate. Our men and women's finest warriors, along with their families, get some of the worst care I have ever seen. You have to see one person, (sometimes not even a qualified medical physician), only to make an appointment to see someone else. Sometimes these appointments can take weeks and even up to a month or so. Sometimes you don't even get a return call from the physician you are seeing. We are lead to believe that Motrin and other various pills, are the magic we need to get over what ever we are experiencing. "Having stomach pain? Here's some Motrin!" "Lower back pain for three months, here's some lidocaine patches, narcotics, and Motrin!" Pills, pills, and more pills. Our home looks like our own personal pharmacy, from things such as the wonderful army Motrin to the Percocets and nexium pills that are magically suppose to fix the issues without further tests! The stomach issues I speak of resulted in a gallbladder removal. The lower back pain, 4 bulging disks and some large fibroids (so they say) magically shown in the MRI. Just a whole bunch of pills and wasted time to sugar coat a condition. I am amazed at how shitty our health care is. We send our men and women into harms way for whatever the reasoning may be at the time. The families that are left behind due to deployments, or the spouses and children who sacrifice the packing up, whenever duty calls, and leaving friends and family behind countless times, usually ending with finding new people all over again to form some sort of friendship with. These are the people who we owe support to. Personal support, mental and physical support, as well as the most important-medical??? So please tell me why, as a military spouse and mother of two, why is our medical care the worst I have ever seen? Why do you continue to prescribe pills to cover up an issue rather than run some freaking tests to rule out everything 

else? Maybe I'm just some hypochondriac (ok I know I am), but usually it works better to rule out all the above before sending home a pill that you have no idea if it's even gonna work, nor do you even know what the hell the problem is!! 

Free-falling

The temperature has been really nice lately; 80's with cooler evenings and mornings. I have to admit that fall is my favorite season, at least when it can actually be a season. People have been decorating for Halloween already, and it's not even October yet. We really won't be doing much decorating this year, due to the fact that we will be PCSing during the fall/winter time frame. Tim received his orders and they state how we could arrive as early as November 17th. We probably won't head there till winter break which is actually the same time both here and Hawaii. I'm trying to imagine it all in my head but the more and more I think about the move, the more tension I am filled with. Moving, in general is hard! When your a military family, moving is second nature. Nonetheless, it doesn't get any easier no matter how many times you do it. I'm already dreading going through our things and seeing what we won't be needing anymore. (Hawaii weather is 80's year round... Guess we won't need 'winter clothes' and things of that nature for a while. Another thing I dread is leaving my job. Even though I joke around constantly and say to my coworkers how I can't wait to leave or I teasingly tell them I won't be in when I know I will, I'm truly gonna miss going to a place where I love to be. Working at the vet clinic has been such a blessing to me. I not only work hard for my money, lol, but I am good at it and I love to do it! It's funny that I can tell a person by their pet!! Can't remember the owners name yet I can sure remember all the "Bella's, max's, Jacks', Sam's, etc etc".  It's become my second home and leaving is going to be deeply hard for me. 

This is one of our patients, Groot! He's a blue Dane 😊. How can someone not love their job where they get to love on puppies and kitties all day long??

Look at these babies!?! I can't hold them like I can puppies but they are joys too! And of course my co-workers... Can't say enough about "most" of them. I truly have bonded with some awesome ladies, and have learned so much more than I ever cared to before this job. The vets have shared things with me that I actually have learned something about!! Talk about OJT. I feel pretty confident that I will be leaving my mark here at the clinic and all I can hope for is a kick-ass receptionist like me to fill my void. 

Another thing I love about fall is pumpkin everything!!! Had to make the IHOP dinner run for their awesome pumpkin pancakes! Can't help it, those are a weakness of mine!! 

Other than that, just bracing myself for what's ahead! October will be my month of getting back into running, one foot in front of the other. These last 6 months of being on a no run profile have sucked and I can't wait to pound some pavement and feel the breeze in my face.. Besides, I need to be "bikini" ready for Hawaii, and pretty much the next two years! 😜

Here's to Positivity....

So, I been pretty down and out since injuring my back and not being able to do certain things, like RUN! I have been having these moments where I want to strap on my sneaks and just head out, but there is a fear now that if I do that, I will hurt my back all over again.  I have been given the "ok" to do it, but my mind has been freaking me out and telling me that I can't do it.  I don't like feeling like I can't do something.  Especially something as awesome as running.  I have seen posts from friends and family members, who are getting it done, so what is my excuse?

Today is September 22nd.  It's been 6 months since I ran last.  I think taking all this time has greatly improved my back situation, however, it has put a huge damper on where my progress was before.  I know that I am not going to be able to cover 6 miles without an issue.  I know I will have to start slow, but I feel like dang, I worked SO HARD to where I was 6 months ago, that now I will never get back to that again.  I know that is all in my head, and that the evil conscience is playing tricks on me, but it's been really weighing me down.  I know what I need to do, it's just a matter of doing it.  Easier said then done.

This was me, a Happy Runner...

December already....

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas here at Fort Sill, however the weather seems to say it's not... We are still hitting almost the 80's here, but we have had a few cold days.  I am assuming that there will be NO snow days here.  What a bummer for our household.  But, we will survive just fine.  (As long as no tornados happen on that note!) After my parents left from spending Thanksgiving with us, we went on a light decorating fit..  I must say my husband and I did a spectacular job.  Lol.

Mason's basketball season has come to an end.  No more 0630 school drop-offs for practice, YES!!  That can get to be annoying on a daily basis if you ask me.  Tim would do it most of the time, but when he was gone, ugh, I am so not that morning person... Not at that time yet anyways.  But, Mason played a great season and we are so proud of our lil athlete.  Now, we can't wait for Baseball season.  That is our sport.  And Mason's, although he will say it's not.  Too bad lil man, baseball is your sport and you will be in the MLB one day, I just know it...  =)  Playing for the Yankees, ha!  (Tim would disown him hehe)

Maddie has been put into the Christmas play at her school, "Dear Santa".  She plays one of the children and has been practicing her part and I can't wait to go and watch it.  I will have pics to post, but it's not until sometime next week.  I will have to update another blog and show all =)  Both kids are STRAIGHT A students and we couldn't be prouder.  It's amazing how resilient they are and how they have begun to adjust well.  They are still missing Korea and their friends from there, but they do keep in touch with them via todays technology, Facetime, Skype, etc.  They both have friends here too, but it's not the same as it was there.  I hope that their friend groups continue to grow and they can make good friends here too.

Tim has taken up a new hobby-Hunting.  =/  He goes almost every Saturday and well, hasn't had much luck yet.  He took Mason one morning, and well, he lasted till about lunchtime and then had to come home..  Not his thing.  But, Tim has been enjoying it and so I am thrilled he has found something that he enjoys and can do with some of his work buddies.

Tim and Mason, waiting for an Elk

Mason, looking bored...

All three dogs are doing well.  Jax is HUGE!!  He seems to never stop growing, lol.  Sookie is recovering from a double ear infection, but other then that, she is great!  She still looks so tiny to me, but Tim says she's getting bigger.  I don't see it because I see her everyday.  But, she feels heavier...  Ha!  And Stormy, I think she is done with puppies.  They try and play with her, but she's not really playful anymore.  I think because she is 6 maybe that is why she's not as into rough housing and playing with things like the new one's are?  I don't know.  I just know she is my girl.  And she gets just as much love as others.  I need to get them stocking stuffers soon.  Although there is NO WAY i can put them out till night before.  Jax WILL eat them all.  He is a monster.  A good one.  But a HUGE one.  (Does that make sense?)

We had the blessing from a friend of mine, Britney, to take our family pictures for Christmas.  She did some of the most amazing photos we have had ever had done!  We are so grateful for her friendship and her talent.  I couldn't have been happier with our pics and hope you enjoy seeing them too.

And saving the best for last, we celebrated another wonderful birthday for Tim.  Another year older, wiser, and grayer I told him, lol.  No, as he ages, the handsomer he is =)  Happy Birthday to the most amazing man I know and am so lucky to have.

Love to all, xoxoxo

Lots to be Thankful for...

Halloween was a DUD here at Fort Sill, at least in our neighboring housing areas...  Not many people handed out candy or decorated this year.  Must be all the financial issues that are going on with the economy and job cuts...  Too bad Romney didn't win..  (oops, did i say that)  This kids did have somewhat of a good time and if you ask me, the got plenty of candy.  More than enough.  I think Halloween is coming to an end for them, dressing up and all.  They are 11, and soon to be 10, I mean, how long do you dress up for?  I don't remember.  Lol.  Maddie wanted to be an 80's girl, (not sure where that one came from this time...) and Mason was a skeleton.  Here's their adorable pics... Oh yah, I even dressed up the dogs, for a brief moment for pics...  Jax was a Black Ops mutt, and Stormy, a BIG bumblebee..

November is the month for thankfulness and being grateful for all the blessings that we have.  I have given this blog posting a lot of thought, in fact, I been sitting here for about an hour and a half just thinking of how I wanted to write this one.  I have been daily posting on my Facebook, the things that I am thankful for, however, there really isn't enough time in the day to sit here and name them all.  Of course, I am thankful for God's forgiveness and grace, my husband, my kids, my family, my life...  And then the list goes on and on.  So, as you are reading this, just know that there is so many things that I am thankful for and if you are reading this, you are probably one of them =)

So far for November, the family and I have been LOVING the cooler weather.  Well, Tim, not so much!  He's more of a warmer weather type, which I don't get being that he IS from Massachusettes.  The weather has been in the 20-30's in the early mornings, and then up to 60's. Great weather for running I must say.  I have been improving so much, that I can now run 4-5 miles nonstop.  And, still can breathe after.  Hehe.  I just have been enjoying the music, the pavement, and the sweat!  Plus, I got into a pair of jeans that I haven't been able to since before moving to Korea, lol.  Can't beat that..

Jax meeting Sookie first time =)

November has also been the start of basketball season for Mason.  He has practice every weekday morning, at 0645, BEFORE school.  Yah, this has taken some getting use to for ALL of us, but it's been great, and we are so excited for his first game on the 19th.  (I will keep everyone posted)  Also, my parents are coming out for Thanksgiving.  YAY!!!!  Haven't seen family, besides on the computer, since before Korea as well.  So, getting to have family with us, and for Thanksgiving especially, is extra special.  Tim and I are already talking about all the things we are going to make them for dinner and whether we should do this, do that?  Fun fun.  The first few days though, kids and Tim will be out at work and school, so it should just be me and my parents....  Don't know how I will keep them occupied but I am ready for them.  They will be staying at the cabins on post, at Letra, because they will be bringing their dogs too.  And, well, 5 dogs in the house is WAY too much for anyone to handle.    Speaking of dogs, we added to our Dane brood.  Sookie, born August 25th, was brought to us a little over a week ago.  She is a mantle dane, and she was given to us by our breeder due to Jax's health issues.  Still we are unsure as to the extent to his heart issue for now, but in the meantime, it's been a ton of fun watching him with the new little one.  Now he knows how poor Stormy felt when he first came home, lol.  

Well, that's it for this one.  I will write again after Thanksgiving.  I hope everyone has a wonderful BLESSED Thanksgiving!!! I know I will =)