Today

Here we are already, December 22. Three days before Christmas and life is still where it was back in the Spring. I’m currently standing in the Covid-19 vaccination line, here at my hospital, and there is at least 300 people in front of me. And, we aren’t even the “FRONT LINERS” who deal with the Covid patients daily. For those heroes, they have a smaller wait in front of them. I’m not going to lie, I was not going to even get this vaccine. I was like, ok, fastest made vaccine ever, and who knows what it’s going to cause down the road. But then again, like someone said earlier, I could walk out the door and get hit by a car. So do I try and ignore the fact that this IS the NEW REALITY? This Virus that is literally killing millions of people or do I just suck it up and get the vaccine? I’m blessed to be able to work with these front line workers and call myself “essential” enough to be able to get it today. Besides, while being in the Army, I’m pretty sure I got some other vaccines that will affect me somewhere down the road, like the Anthrax! So how bad can this one be?  

This is reality. As I look around me, I can’t tell if people are happy about this or scared shitless like me. I can’t tell if anyone is smiling behind these claustrophobic masks we have to wear each and every day. I can’t see anything behind the mandatory mask. If this vaccine is going to save us from this horrible virus, then I’m in. And if it’s going to get me to once again, hopefully soon, be able to see people SMILE again, then I’m in! 

School year 2020-2021

Well. Tomorrow Maddie starts her SENIOR year all online for this remote learning for the first 9 weeks. I pray this is the right decision as the corona isn’t getting much better here lately. She was able to go to school and do her senior yearbook photos, which have been ordered, yet I’ll be taking the more fun ones of her on scenic routes when she’s ready. It’s truly too hot here to go photograph at 4/5pm when it’s 100+out. But we have some plans in the work. :) She also is currently working part time at this cute little candy store and for a first job, she is pretty thrilled. It should all work together with school too, being it’s only part time. Now she has some spending money and also savings yay!!

Mason starts at UTSA this fall with a full time load but right now, all are online too. I am just so lost as so is everyone else how this remote learning is suppose to happen. He’s taking College math, two history classes and his military science  He is Also working currently at Home Depot. He’s a customer associate who gets orders ready. He complains about it lol but seems to really be happy that it’s Home Depot and and not fast food! He is making decent money too!! That’s a plus!

Tim has been enjoying working from home and being able to get stuff done around the house. He just recently built a pool pump coverage, because it’s not suppose to be seen by neighbors. Everything is coming along great! I have been going a lot of gardening.  I recently put in some crepe myrtle trees which are my fav! I can’t wait to watch them grow. We also replaced some vines for our fence line and everything is coming together so well. The pool has been a nice refresher for these triple digit days. I’d say we are hanging in and doing the best we can with what we got. Staying positive, and just staying safe and healthy! Main keys.

And as for me, still job hunting and trying to find stuff to keep me occupied. Gardening has been my go-to. However it does a number on my back. I love caring for plants and trying to keep them alive lol. Some aren’t so lucky. I’m just mentally preparing how the kids school years are going to go.  I did join to be on the board for PWOC this year-as Historian. I’m truly excited to be a part of an amazing group of women who lift me up and are like sisters. I can’t wait till we meet again and get started! Should be an amazing turnout of ladies. The Lord has big plans for our PWOC. 

Praising the Lord

For all He has done for us and for keeping us healthy!

Until next time. Peace, love, and blessings to all!

The New 2020

It's May 2020, and here we are in a worldwide quarantine.  This novel Coronavirus is really doing a number on our world currently.  Latest news confirmation, is up to 1.2M confirmed cases, with almost 73,000 deaths that are known.  In Texas alone, as of today, there is 32,000 confirmed cases and 884 deaths.  This is everywhere, not just in the United States.  There are 3.7M cases, and 261,000 deaths worldwide.  181 countries are dealing with this.  I didn't even know that there were that many countries here on our planet!  That goes to show what I learned in school. 


Since I've have had so much time to really sit back and think about things, I have come to so many realizations that probably I wouldn't have, without this virus "time-out".  For instance, things many of us take for granted..  Grocery shopping. Going to the movies with your family.  Walking through the streets of town.  Window shopping at the malls.  Exercising at the gym. Going for coffee with your friends.  Going to church.  Having group study with your friends.  These are just a few that have really hit me.  This "social distancing" rule that we are all now having to follow, for our safety and others, is like a huge weight that is just sitting on my shoulders.  I MISS CHURCH.  Sure we are doing online services, but there is nothing better then being in the church and in the presence of the Lord, and feeling it.  I miss being social.  I miss my friends.  I miss human interaction outside of this house.  I miss going to the gym.  I really miss the days when we could go outside without fear.  I miss not being afraid in general.  Now, you have to protect your face with some type of cloth or mask, for protection against this virus.  Sanitizers are sold out.  Lysol wipes and bleach are gone.  This is truly something that I thought I would have only read about in a book or seen on film.  Never, in my life, did I think something like this would happen.  It's surreal. 

I MISS YOU CBC!!

 

Gone....POOF!

During this temporary new way of life, where we are to only go out for necessities such as food and medical care, we have seen a lot of positives.  Around the world, people are all coming together and are coming to God.  Probably more than people ever have.  We all are in this together, and we are not in control of this virus and who it affects.  We can only control our ways to protect ourselves and others.  No one knows who will get it next.  No one is immune.  (At least that we know of) . This is something that no one knows anything about, other than the symptoms and the results of the virus.  We can only pray for ourselves, and for the world, and ask God to protect us all.  I will be honest and admit that I have NEVER read the Bible as much as I am now.  I mean, if I am reading it, just think of how many other new believers are reading it.  And their families, and so on.  

AMEN!!

Throughout all of this, I am trying to not let anxieties and fear overcome me, but it gets hard when you hear the news or read about it.  States are now just opening up their lockdowns after almost 2 months, and while some states have flattened their curve, Texas seems to NOT be one of them.  Our curve is fluctuating.  Up and down.  This is just surreal to me.  I mean, how did something so invisible as this Coronovirus, cause so much destruction in such a short amount of time?  Of course you have those scholars and scientists out there that are piecing things together and trying to explain how and why and whatever, but my mind is still resting on the fact that God wants us to be aware of the way we were all living.  We may not have been aware of the things we were doing as a planet, but it is showing tremendous change around the world.  Oceans are cleaning up.  Air pollution is at its lowest.  The ozone layer is actually healing.  People are exercising more and being more aware of their hygiene.  Families are reconnecting (for the most part).  Household chores that have been put off due to less time availability, are now getting done.  More and more people have been finding ways to do things that they never thought they would do.  And even though technology can be a nuisance, right now, it's a life line for those who are struggling with loneliness and depression.  It is making a way for people to still be able to connect, while quarantined.  And the biggest bonus of all, people are coming to Christ!!!!!  There are so many positives to this time, even though it doesn't feel like it or you don't see it, change is happening.  

 

Here's to new beginnings...again

Well, unfortunately, things didn't work out as planned for Massachusetts.  Then again, it's really not all about our plan, it's God's plan that truly matters.  While Massachusetts was "home" from July 2017-June 2018, just shy of the one year mark, it really was bittersweet to leave there and come back to Oklahoma. I would have rather had the Army move us, instead of us packing the whole house up and doing it ourselves.  To me, that was the worst part.  Oh yah, that and driving one of the Penske moving trucks cross country.  I still can't believe we did the whole move ourselves. I give credit big-time to all the packers and movers of the world.  I use to complain when they did it for us with all the military moves and now, I will praise them after having to do it all on our own.

Two Penske trucks, and a trailer

We hoped we would only need one to fill...

Tessie was comfy the whole way

Definitely not East anymore...COWS!!!

I love cows

 I am sure no one says that, but Oklahoma has a lot of happy memories for me.  For starters, it is where my running was ignited.  I completed many races here in the area, and coming back here has burned a fire within me to want to race again.  Sure, it's going to take a lot to get back in the saddle since the back issue and the "not exercising for over a year" but it definitely shows me how far I came and was, and makes me want to get back to that again.  I have started back with walking, even though I usually have to wait till the sun starts setting because I have not acclimated yet to this dry heat.  It's not the same.  It's NOT running, but it's baby steps.  And, I know all that I have accomplished here with my runs, so it gives me hope that I will accomplish more.

I have to mention that the simplicity and quietness about Oklahoma is something that I love.   It grew on me the last time we were here, and with living in two crazy over-populated places since, I like it out here more.  Things are cheaper too.  Woohoo, gas is under $3.00.  We can shop on post again.  (We didn't live near post in Mass.) . Sure, the weather is unpredictable here.  Hell, there was a tornado in Massachusetts while I was there so there ya have it.  That weather can happen literally anywhere.  We will prepare accordingly lol.  We have more house for our things and for our family that's growing.  A place for grandkids to visit.  =) . That is a bonus for me.  I am already starting a grand baby shelf with books for when they will come.  I'm excited.

Princess Lainey 

New grandson coming soon...

The kids are adjusting again.  Mason knows a few people here.  Some from the middle school he attended and some that just moved here from Hawaii too, that we knew there.  How cool is that?  The only thing is those kids that we know from Hawaii, they live on post and will go to a different school.  We live out in a different area so the kids have to go to a different high school then before when we lived on post.  Hopefully we will teach the kids how to drive, then Mason can get his license and his own car, and he can drive himself.  (I am so not ready for that!!!) School starts August 20th here, so they have about another month to enjoy off, then it's back to the books and homework.  I am looking forward to that honestly.  They need to socialize and make friends already.  And Mom needs to get back into the gym and get her running on.

We did put an above ground pool in ourselves.  We tried to level out the ground as much as possible and put the pool together, and filled it up.  It's lopsided, so we have a deeper end then the other.  But we will fix it next summer.  The pool is great to cool off in, and the floats are awesome this time.  Plus you can get an amazing tan in the Oklahoma sunshine.

the girls got their own pool too

There has already been a few crazy weather episodes here.  I actually got a neat video and I clipped this photo out of it. 

Sunrise pic-credits to Tim up at the crack of dawn

Lightning lit up the sky in the front of the house

The temps have also surpassed what we have been accustomed to in the last 4 years.  Triple digits of nothing but DRY HEAT.  It's been so hot, no one has wanted to do anything outdoors really, other then be in the pool.  Even Maxie wanted in.  Tim was happy to give her some swim lessons.  She loves the floaties too.  

Maxie and Tim, swimming

I am done.  I am done with diet this and keto that.  Low carb this, high fat that.  I have tried to be on the keto diet wagon for the last two months, and to be honest, I have never been so miserable.  And not even because of the lack of certain foods, but because of all the IG accounts I follow, or all the stuff talked about on FB, or see on the tv.  Its all bad juju that I am feeling from everything that I have been trying to follow.  The fact that I feel like a failure when I eat more than 20g carbs is enough to make anyone depressed.  And not to mention, that I have been straight up overwhelmed with emotions that pertain to depression and loneliness since moving here to Massachusetts.  I have greyed so much in these 11 months.  I have succumbed to the hermit lifestyle.  First due to the cold weather and snow, but then once spring arrived--the pollen here is deadly for me.  I was so sick once spring has sprung.  I never wanted to be outside because even the Zyrtec wasn't working.  So, what does someone do when this is their "current life"?  You wallow in it or you change it.  I wallowed and am still wallowing. 

Its a viscous cycle but its happening to me.  Because of the back injury, it's thrown off my will to exercise.  That and it hurts to exercise.  Even after going to PT for two months straight, I had no improvement.  And with the MRI showing that I had two bulging disks that require the referral to the neurosurgeon, which I can't start here due to the impending move, I'm just struggling to find a place where I can feel comfortable doing something that won't hurt me.  I have moments where I feel like I may be able to get some endorphins in.  Then I go try a run at the gym, or a fitness class, and then I am spending a few days recovering in agony.  What fun is that?  What kind of life is this?  So, once I start seeing a neuro doc and if they tell me that injections can work to get me running again, I will try.  Even though I am scared to death.  Scared of injections into the spine or even spinal surgery, scared of what could go wrong, scared of recovery process, etc.  All these things scare me.  Wow.  They truly scare me.

Another thing I am beginning to see is my impact on my daughter.  My daughter is so beautiful.  She is flawless in my eyes.  Not only is she super smart and talented, but she has a fresh beauty about her.  She's beautiful in so many ways.  However, in my moment of wallowing and complaining to her about my low self esteem issue and how I currently am so disappointed with my body and myself, she told me basically that my bad self image is giving her one.  HOLD UP.  That right there I never meant to happen, not ever.  I never want my beautiful daughter to hate herself or something about her.  She's flawless in my eyes.  Absolutely flawless.  Not to mention, I'd die for a head of hair like hers.  Ha. 

So, starting tonight, I am done.  Done with the self bashing, the negative talk, and the damn wanna be dieting that I know is not what I am needing.  I need to find my self-love again.  I know I am missing a lot of it due to my pain and aches and not being able to run, but the pitty train stops here.  NO more.  So here's to bagels again.  Tostitoe chips too.  (I miss these two the most) .  And to self-love and self-care.  And to be the kind of role model my children deserve!

We made it!!

We finally made it to our FINAL destination, after driving cross country from California to Massachusetts.  We rented a 12 passenger van from Budget outside the LA airport and began our journey.   We had to wait about two hours to pick up the rental.  The line of people waiting to get their vehicles was ridiculous.  There was only two terminals open and about a hundred people in line.
The kids and I waited off the side with the luggage and we were all so very tired and irritated by the time Tim was done in the line and we had keys in hand.  From the rental place, we had to drive to the other side of the airport to pick up our babies.  They were so confused as to what was happening but they were good.  (Only one had an accident)

We are here

We are on the Mainland!!!

midnight look hehe

We began our trek to Phoenix.  It was about 6 hours.  Tim swore he wasn't even tired and that he wanted to get there.  So the kids and I slept, while he drove and had full range of the radio.  I was so tired that I couldn't keep my eyes open at all.  There is something about driving in the car that just makes me sleepy.   Maybe it's the white noise sound of the roads, or the humming of the engine, but I just can't stay awake.

Once in Arizona, we got to the hotel and all took a nap till it was time to visit my brother.  It was so good to see him, my sister-in-law, uncle, aunt, and niece.  It's been a long time since we all visited with each other.  Military life has definitely taken a toll on my relationships with my family members.  Having lived in all sorts of time zones, getting in touch with everyone has been hard for me.  And then, normal life takes over and I get sidetracked and forget.  It's just been hard.  But everyone is doing great and it was so good to visit.  And, we finally got to a Dunkin Donuts!!!  After three years of Starbucks, it was such a relief.  Dogs got the hotel room to themselves.  These guys did NOT like their visit in Arizona-especially with it being 120 degrees and no grass in sight to potty on.  Yes, our girls are spoiled.

WHAT!!!!

Dunkin Donuts coffee, mmmm.

Pool time at my brothers

Me and my uncle Billy

From Arizona, we made our way to El Paso Texas.  This is where it all began!  My first and only duty station when I was active duty-El Paso.  It's where I met Tim and we started our family there.  It was so cool to see it again because it had grown so much since we were last there.  So many new things and the post was ginormous.  They had everything you needed and then some.  Why even leave post anymore.  While there, Madison met up with one of her friends from Oklahoma whose dad was now stationed there.  Tim, Mason, and I went to our favorite Mexican Restaurant-Carlos and Mickey's.  We ate there all the time when I was pregnant with Mason.  Their chips and salsa are the bomb!  We ordered the same thing we always use to order, Chicken chimichangas.  Delicious just like it always was when we were stationed there.

Fort Bliss, Texas

Chicken chimichanga!!!!

El paso was in the rear view mirror and we were onto Oklahoma when we made a quick pitstop in another town in TX for a visit with our good friends Mike and Gigi.  They retired now too.  We stayed for a short while and then finished our drive to Fort Sill, Oklahoma.  From here we drove to see our granddaughter Lainey and son-in-law, Justin.  It was another short visit but it was so great to see them.  We visited them at his parents RV.  Lainey has gotten so big and she has such an adorable personality.  The only thing that would have made it better was if Makayla was there too.  We sure do miss her.  Our visit was too short there but well worth it.

Aunt Maddie and Lainey

Mason and his first niece

Happy grandparents!

After our too short of a visit, we were on the road towards the east coast.  We seen some pretty awesome storms along the way.  Hawaii only has maybe one or two good storms during the year, and we were loving the thunder and lightening.  Not to mention, I got some pretty awesome pics of the clouds and all.

Fluffy clouds

It's raining over there

Beautiful storm up ahead

After 5 days of driving and hotel staying, we made it into South Carolina to visit my parents, sister, and niece.  First thing we did was drop these mutts off at the kennel that my mom recommended.  I was sad to do it, but it was a nice time without them after the trip from California.  My parents were so gracious to let the kids and us stay there till we picked up the RV from Florida.  After getting into SC, we all stayed at my parents, but Tim and Mason left he following morning for Florida.  While the boys were down there, Nonna took Madison out for some pampering.  They are so funny!  Thanks to my stepmother, I have learned how to bargain shop, and I passed that down to Madison.  While they were out, Nonna was impressed at how Madison knew the clearance section lol.  After pedicures and a trip to the mall, they came home and we had made dinner and went to the pool in their neighborhood.  Then the next morning, we took a tour of downtown Charleston by horse and carriage.  That was the first time I had ever rode one.  Our tour guide was so good at his job and the whole time, I never once was bored.  He had us so interested in everything.  We got to see some of the most prettiest historic homes I had ever seen, followed by an old building that was used as a jail/prison.  He said that it's believed to be haunted and that there were actually night tours through it--ya no thank you! When the tour was all over, we then went to this Cat Cafe.  Big mistake.  Number one, because Madison's allergies were in overdrive in there.  And number two, Tina almost walked out with a kitten.  The cafe is a place where you can go and spend time with adoptable kittens/cats.  Just so happened to be Kitten day.  There were so many adorable kitties.  I would have adopted one if we weren't allergic.  But playing with them was a treat.  Not so much for Madison.  She needed an allergy medicine fast.  So our time at the cafe was cut short and we were on to walking around and doing some shopping for Benadryl and then some lunch.  It was an unforgettable time!

The kennels we left our dogs at for 6 days

Madison and her Nonna-getting pedi's 

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Us ladies at the tour 

our awesome tour guide

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Haunted old jail

If only. This baby was adorable!

kitties!!!

Cute setup for the cat cafe

The calm before the storm

Nonna is in trouble lol

This was the winner for us

market shopping

Maddie and Me

Rainbow road

lunchtime with these beauties

Once we got the RV, we stayed at this adorable RV park on St James Island.  It was so nice there.  There was walking trails, fields of grass, rock climbing walls, ziplining, a water park, and a few other things.  There was even a dog beach, but I wasn't about to let these dogs stink up the RV.  It was bad enough we were in such close quarters with them.  One of the days, we went to the waterpark at the camp we were staying at with my mom and niece.  It was really good spending time with little Ryan--who wasn't so little anymore.  She is totally my sister, in a mini-her version.  Ryan and Madison spent the majority of the time there together.  It was so cute seeing Madison and her playing together.  Even though there is like a 10 year difference between the two of them, they played so nicely together.  One of our last days there, we took the whole family out to dinner, and it felt so nice to just have everyone there together.  I have missed that.  Family.  Too many moves and time apart.  Time I can't get back.  There is pros and cons to military lifestyles, and this--the distance and time lost--was definitely a huge con.  Only one thing to do now, and that is to change that.  Said my goodbyes to my family and now that we are all on the same coast and time zone, things will get better.

Madison and Ryan

Mason, Madison, and Ryan

Waterpark fun

Maxie hating the humidity of SC

Lulu at my parents house

My sister and me, and daughters

Family dinner

Love my niece

After the time in South Carolina, we headed up more north.  We stopped in Virginia and headed to Busch Gardens for some much needed down time and Play time.  The kids seemed to have a really good time.  We all went on some rides, some crazier then other, and we just enjoyed being away from the craziness of traveling and Rv'ing.  I wish that I bought some of the park pictures--the kind that the rides take while in mid air.  There were some really cute and funny pictures but way over priced.  I did get a few photos there without losing my phone.

Busch Gardens 2017

Our wet faces after the log ride

LOL

This ride looks innocent...  Not so much!

Christmas picture lol

ughhhhhhh

Fun times were over and we were once again on the road, this time stopping in D.C.  In my whole 39 years of life, and even while living in NJ, I never got to visit D.C.  This was a great experience for the kids and me.  Tim had been here a few times with his military career so it wasn't too new to him.  We went to the Arlington National cemetery, where we saw the tomb of the unknown soldier.  That was one of the proudest moments for me.  Even though I had only served the Army 4 years, I still felt so humble and proud to say that I am a veteran.  That job of manning the tomb is not an easy one.  We were all out there in shorts and flip flops while these soldiers were in full dress uniform--if we were sweating, lord knows they were too times 20.  We were able to watch the change of guard too.  I am glad that the kids got to see it as well.  Hopefully they felt proud too.  

Our Rv stay in DC

beautiful yet tragic

Lincoln Monument

Tons of people there too

We look so tiny next to Lincoln's speech

Wasn't going near this place lol

Maddie

Part of the Smithsonian

State Capital

Onto the next blog....