Well October is quickly fading into November, and I can't believe how fast it has flown by. Tomorrow is Halloween already, geesh. This month however, I am ready to bid farewell to. It has really been nothing but a "PAIN".
In the beginning of the month, we had a health scare with Tim. Everything was fine and peachy. We all went to Applebees for dinner, and then a quick stop to the Starbucks for our monthly coffee treat. On the way home from there, we all were chit chatting and having our normal family conversations like usual in the car, about school, friends, "who farted?",you name it. The "normal" family talk. Ok, well it might not be "normal" for your family, but that's pretty much to the "T" for us. We get home, get situated. Kids in jammies, Tim on his man-chair with the remote, and me, well I had just got a phone call from my bestie in NJ. So, instead of being rude and loud in front of everyone, I took my call outside. Maybe ten minutes into my phone call, Tim comes to the door and he looked horrible. His face was pale and he was grabbing at his abdomen/chest area, and he said the words I thought I would NEVER hear come from his mouth, "Take me to the ER". I was like, what??? I hung up on my friend, and yes, started panicking. Well, when you look at your spouse, grabbing their mid section, what is the first thing that comes to mind? For me, and actually for him this time, we BOTH thought heart... So, Tim is holding himself up against the wall and kept saying how it hurt and he couldn't breathe, I grabbed the phone and dialed 911. Tim yells at me and is like, "No 911, you need to drive me!" I'm like a nervous wreck so I hung up the phone before anyone even answered, knowing that I was soon going to get either a call or a cop at the house. Sure as I was about to head out the door with Tim, they call back. "9-1-1, you just called?" "Yes ma'am, my husband is having trouble breathing and he's complaining of pain, and I'm FREAKING OUT... However he's being a stubborn ass and doesn't want you all involved and wants me to DRIVE him to the ER." They understood and told me to put my hazards on so that if I was speeding and a cop saw me, they would know I was on way to ER. So, Tim and I make our way to the car, get in, and didn't even buckle... Stupid I know, but I couldn't think of anything but getting him there FAST. (Probably another great reason to be buckled!) Tim is leaning out the window, moaning and breathing raspy, and I'm speeding all over post, rushing to the ER. I illegally park, and run him up to the front desk. A nurse came out, took his vitals, and ha, told us to sit in waiting room to be called!! Gotta love the military system! After a few minutes of frustration and fear, they call him into a bed. The medic did the norm, hooked him up to the BP cuff, SPO2 and pulse machine. Ran vitals, all looked ok. In the whole time, Tim is in pain and still breathing funny. The medic takes down information and comes back with a cup of this concoction of benedryl, maalox, and lidocaine. The GI cocktail they called it. Tim drank it and before he knew it his tongue, throat, and everything that this liquid touched went numb. Including some of the pain. Xrays were then ordered to see what this exactly was, and we once again were on the wait for results. Finally after a few hours, the Doc comes in and tells us it's blocked air in his large upper intestine, forcing pressure into his diaphragm and that's whats causing the breathing issues and pain. In other words, a HUGE GAS BUBBLE!!! Tim and I were in disbelief. There is NO WAY that that was caused by gas... So, after a dose of Morphine, (pain came back) and embarrassed feelings, we were sent home. Gas? Really? Could something as simple as air bubbles, cause so much trouble? Apparently from them and my stepmom, who specializes in Gastro-that yes, gas can make you feel like you are dying. Amazing.
After this incident, it took some time to feel ok. Tim was still in disbelief that that happened and having pains still, and worrying that it was more, and well I was just so scared, that it took like so much out of me. I felt like I was beaten with a stick the next few days afterwards. Then, he was back to normal for the most part. And I was thankful. The sight of watching your spouse suffer from something you have no control over is horrible. I don't ever want to go through anything like it again.
Just when things begin to get better, I got slapped in the face with the news that my baby Dane has something wrong with his heart. I took him in for a routine appointment, and his last set of puppy shots, and while the vet was performing his assessment, he listens to his heart sound extra long. Then listens to the other side, then the other. Then tells me he wants to get the other vet next door to come take a listen. Meanwhile, Jax and I look at each other like "what now?" The other vet comes in, places the stethescope onto Jax's chest, listens, then the other side, then back again, and looks at me and says, "There is something wrong with his heart." (My vet even called me over to listen myself to Jax's heartbeat). So, there I go again, FREAKING out. Asking a bazillion questions, and trying to figure out what it could be and so on... I was told it could be one of three things: a murmur, which is something people and animals live with forever, a tear possibly from his seizures he had a while back, or a hole, that's basically growing along with him, and that could be why it was never heard before, and that it could heard now that he's bigger. My vet told me that he didn't have the right equipment to further look into the heart issue there, that Jax would need an Echocardiagram. And, the only places that do that here are A,B,C.... So, those were my options. However, the vet said, lets not panic, (HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!), lets re-check him in 3 weeks, and see what and if there is any change in sound. After paying the outrageous bill, (why are vets so expensive) I then, looked at Jax with a more profound love for an animal, one I think I never had before, until that moment.
The drive home was a quiet one, just Jax and me. He had benedryl in his system from his immunizations, and so he was dopey and falling all over the seats. Then he finally crashed until we got home. Once home, I helped him down from the truck, and came inside. It then hit me, and I broke down. I could NOT contain myself. How could something be wrong with Jax now? What if this, what if that. What if he dies? I freaked out and just layed with him on the floor and sobbed. In only a short time, I have fallen so inlove with my little guy. And yes, maybe I overreacted because it is just a dog, and I did THANK GOD it wasn't any of my humans. But, I love Jax and as a dog mother, I was devastated. I called my breeder and told her the news. She told me to just hold on and see what the next appt says. If I didn't want him anymore, she would gladly take him back. Like, if he is going to die, depending on the circumstance, and if I can't handle it, then she would. It was like, I didn't even want to think of giving him back. That was the hardest part for me to fathom. Having to say goodbye to my little precious baby. Ugh. It was pretty bad. But, I think I needed to breakdown that day. I picked myself up and trudged on. I look at him everyday, and he seems fine, NORMAL, crazy as ever.
We play, we love, and we live. And will just have to wait and see what the vet says next week. Tim and I decided that if there is something serious, and Jax's lifespan will be shortened, then he will live on with us. No one else. And we will try whatever we can to make it the happiest, most precious time with him. I love everyday I get to see his face... and if it's for a little time, then I will cherish what time we have...together.
After finally calming down, and going on with things.. Some crazy weather rolls in sets my Panic meter rocketing... I just can't win. I was preparing for a Wizard of Oz story of my own... So, October, you rolled in with some punches and I am ready to boot you in rear and bring on November.
